March 12, 2012

Tiny Dancer

Jack Millos took on the peacock this weekend and it’s now featherless shivering in an alley outside Central Park.

Everyone’s favourite tiny dancer continues to do his thing and Sunday he was on NBC’s Today Show in New York to dance in front of a larger audience than ever before. He was his usual charming, polite, groovetastic self as he answered questions from hosts Lester Holt and Jenna Wolfe. Then the music started, Jack’s smile vanished and it was time to roll – wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah.

Here’s the video. This counts as my birthday gift to you. You’re welcome. And sorry, but I didn’t have time to wrap it.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Before long Jack’s 15 minutes of dancing fame will be up, although you know it’s not the last we’ll hear from this superstar, who turns seven-years-old today.

Dancing Jack Millos has officially entered my Top 10 list of all-time Favourite Jacks.

10. Jack Black
9. Jack White
8. Jack Millos
7. Jack Dawson
6. Jack the Ripper
5. Jack Skellington
4. Jack Nicholson
3. Jack Sparrow
2. Jack Daniels
1. Jack Donaghy

March 10, 2012

Jack in the Big Apple

They grow up so fast.

It seems like just yesterday Jack Millos was bringing Rogers Arena to life with his dancing. Well, everyone’s favourite six-year-old, who turns seven on Monday, has a monumentally big TV appearance Sunday, as in tomorrow, a mere five days after his dancing video went viral. Jack will take a bite out of the Big Apple and strut his stuff in a Canucks jersey on NBC’s Today Show.

Yes, that Today Show. THE Today Show.

Jack, sister Teaghan, dad Ron and mom Elizabeth, received word they’d been invited to New York Friday afternoon and they were flown there today in advance of Sunday’s weekend edition of the show,  anchored by Lester Holt and Jenna Wolfe. The show is set to air at 8 a.m. EST Sunday morning, that’s 5 a.m. PST, as in crazy early, so be sure to set your PVRs so you don’t miss Jack take the world by storm.

Go, set your PVR right now. I’ll wait for you to return before I write anything else…

And we’re back.

If you’re just joining in on the phenom that is Dancing Jack, here are a few links to get you caught up.

Original video: http://youtu.be/1qYTuH1_KXg

The full story video: http://youtu.be/cTeIdNQApVg

Jack teaches a bumbling journalist (me) how to dance: http://fortnucks.nucksnation.com/2012/moves-like-jory/

6 Things on Being Jack: http://canucks.nhl.com/club/news.htm?id=621393

Best of luck Jack!

UPDATE: Just got an email from Elizabeth, Jack’s mom. She said all is well in New York and that Jack is Jack, he doesn’t seem nervous at all. The family is wired from all the excitement, and understandably so, but they’ll have to sleep fast with an early pick up time of 6:45 a.m. EST. Jack is then scheduled to be on air to start the Today Show with a few teasers early on, before he takes centre stage at 8:40 a.m. EST. Also, Jack was recognized at the airport heading to New York, so a lucky couple from Kelowna heading to Cabo on vacation received the first ever autographed photo of Jack. Get in line, I get the second!

March 9, 2012

Shout out to Oakbank Pharmacy

Some dares are worth it. Like the time I was dared to lick the cattle fence at my grandpa’s farm in the middle of winter and got my tongue stuck and cows came over and licked my face with their disgustingly disgusting hot tongues. Or the time I was dared to sneak up behind my sleeping dog Max and yell to wake him up, only to have him chase me away and bite me in the butt. I may or may not still have a little scar.

Actually, those dares were lame and so was this one.

The Winnipeg Jets put up quite a fight Thursday night in a 3-2 loss to the Vancouver Canucks, and there was just as much battling going on in the stands between fans. Tough to argue the Jets didn’t win that battle, but after seeing this photo, sent to me by Jeff Vinnick, I’m not sure what to think.

Take a look.

Now look again, zoomed in on the sign.

Who brings a sign to a hockey game that reads: “OAKBANK PHARMACY GREATEST PHARMACY IN THE WORLD!!! You’re welcome Glenn” ?!? It’s not like Glenn Sanclemente, owner of Oakbank Pharmasave at 1-559 Main Street in Oakbank, Manitoba, postal code R0E 1J1, is going to get any free promotion out of this, which is kind of unfair because we all know if you’re in Oakbank and need quality pharmaceutical supplies at down to earth pricing even working folks can afford, you’re headed to Oakbank Pharmasave.

Anyways, nice try Glenn’s friend, but your attempt to get Oakbank Pharmacy, rumoured to be the greatest pharmacy in the world, on the map has failed. But here’s a map of where Oakbank Pharmacy is on a map of Oakbank, just in case.

March 7, 2012

Moves like Jory

By now Jack needs no introduction. If you don’t know who he is, it must be awfully warm and comfortable beneath that rock you’re under.

Six-and-a-half-year-old Jack Millos literally look Rogers Arena by storm Tuesday night when his dance moves to LMFAO’s “Sexy and I Know It” had the sellout crowd rolling in the aisles. Jack’s moves were contagious and I had to catch up with him post-game for a lesson.That was a good idea. That was not a good idea. Why on earth did I think I could keep up with Jumpin’ Jack Flash?

Sadly those dance moves were an improvement from how I typically shake my money maker, as you can see below. This is what my little man and I call the Happy Dance. It’s typically used as a touchdown celebration, when “Party Rock Anthem” is on, or really anytime in general actually. Clearly dancing is not my forte.

I’ll stick to what I’m good at: stacking Tupperware, using chopsticks, quoting Home Alone 1 and 2 (but never 3), raising one eyebrow like The Rock, find the TV remote after looking forever, remembering what movie that guy is from and squeezing a little bit more power of out dying batteries.

March 5, 2012

Busted

Zack Kassian is a big boy, he’s easily 6-foot-3 and 230 pounds. He needs protection like I need puns.

Saturday night was my coming out party though, as those watching CBC’s After Hours, with guests Kassian and Kevin Bieksa, caught a glimpse of me in the shadows. Jeff Vinnick even captured a rare photo.

If you look up Jory in the dictionary, it isn’t there. It’s because I’m stealth like that and had it removed. Like a ninja. But as you can see from the above photo, I was waiting in the wings should Scott Oake or Kevin Weekes try any funny business with the Canucks newcomer.

At first I thought Weekes’ suit (we can all agree it’s from his Urkel collected – Steve Urkel, not his cool alter ego Stefan Urquelle), might pose a problem. I ran it through various security check points and all was well. Then it was Oake’s line of questioning about figure skating that nearly had nun-chucks flying; Kassian gave me the sign everything was okay, so I let him be.

Know this: If you mess with one of the Canucks on the ice, Kassian will be there in flash. If you mess with Kassian off the ice and he gives me the secret signal or says the top secret code word and I’m available and I’m in blue (MIB = Man In Blue), I’ll be there. And it’ll be too late. Or something. And yes, I have a memory eraser. I just used it on you, in fact.

Please return to the top of story and read through it again so you know what we’re talking about.

#DJMIBout

February 29, 2012

Anti-Bullying Day

Every seven minutes a child is bullied on the playground in Canada. Colour me surprised and today, colour me pink.

The last Wednesday of February each year is Anti-Bullying Day and this year it falls on February 29th, leap day, and with your help, we can take a stand against bullying.

David Booth is, as you can see.

Booth is sporting the official pink Bullying Stops Here t-shirt, which you can purchase from any London Drugs location or at PinkShirtDay.ca, to help spread awareness. Proceeds go to Boys & Girls Clubs of South Coast BC and CKNW Orphans’ Fund.

Booth isn’t just wearing the shirt, he’s truly behind the cause.

“Most people have been bullied at one time or another and it’s brutal,” said Booth. “It can be stopped, we all just have to recognize what it is. It’s important to speak up about it too.”

Statistics show that 50 per cent of Canadian school children report being bullied and 45 per cent of children surveyed do not feel safe when they go to school.

Do your part to stop bullying and get the shirt, or at least wear pink to spread the word. Someone you know will thank you.

Have a story to share about you or someone you know overcoming bullying? Please share it below. The more open we are, the less of a chance bullying has.

February 26, 2012

Attack of the giggles

Sunday really was funday – or funny day in the case of Canucks coach Alain Vigneault.

Near the end of the first period of Vancouver’s game in Dallas, Sportsnet cameras caught the Canucks bench boss busting a gut during a stoppage in play. He was joined by Kevin Bieksa, seated below him, and a few other Canucks.

You’ve likely already seen the video, it’s one for the achieves, but take a minute and watch it again. It’s worth it for the fact that hard-nosed Vigneault is rarely seen in this light.

So what was so funny?

Well, Dallas Stars Vern Fiddler provided some comic relief as he skated by the Canucks bench with his impression of Bieksa’s angry face. His frown is drastically upside down and he does a little shimmy shake as he passes by.

Once you see the video you’ll know you can’t really blame any of the guys for laughing. It’s hilarious. It’s trash talking at its best or worst, depending on where you stand.

“It’s one of those things where maybe he took it a little bit too far, it was kind of funny the first five, 10, 15, 20 seconds, then after a while I started to wonder if there was something seriously wrong with this guy,” laughed Bieksa.

Coach Vigneault is a serious guy behind the bench and when dealing with his players in general, he will have a good chuckle or two during media sessions and I saw him laugh while watching The Rum Diary aboard Air Canucks earlier this trip, but overall his poker face is excellent.

Turns out all he needed was the right comedian.

Speaking of comedians, I caught up with stand-up comic, actress and comedy writer Sarah Colonna, a regular on E!’s Chelsea Lately and author of the new book “Life as I Blow It,” during the first intermission in Dallas.

We are now collaborating on a secret project for Canucks.com. I’ll reveal more when the time is right.

Get ready to laugh like Vigneault.

February 25, 2012

Police Academy

“How old are you?” asked the officer.

“28,” I replied.

“Wow,” he said, “it took you 28 years before winding up here, that’s not too bad.”

It was only a matter of time; sooner or later I knew I’d end up in a cop car.

Traveling with the Vancouver Canucks is, obviously, all about travel. Planes, buses, cars, you name it, if it has wheels, it plays a part in getting the team around at one time or another on the road.

Friday in New Jersey while the team was loading the bus I noticed a pair of police cars parked nearby. You know me by now, you know that I had to inquire as to what was going on. Maybe Sami Salo’s slapshot is considered a weapon in New Jersey?

Next thing I knew officer Jay Harrison was escorting me into police car 869.

I couldn’t have been happier.

I thought this might be my only opportunity to willingly ride in a cop car and trooper Harrison had never had a ride along before, so although he groaned and only said yes after I swore I wouldn’t touch anything, I think the was happy to have me along.

It was clear I made the right decision opting out of the team bus in favour of this when Harrison had to clean unused shotgun shells off the passenger seat before I got in.

First rule of the ride along, put your seat belt on.

Second rule: Don’t ask if they’ve ever shot anyone. I didn’t. I just assume all cops are bad asses who do whatever it takes to protect wimps like me from having their lunch money stolen.

Third rule: Don’t watch Brooklyn’s Finest the night before an unplanned ride along.

And awayyyy we go!

Two cars escort the team bus and a town car containing John Shorthouse and John Garrett (prima donnas!); one police car in front, which Dan Murphy road along in, and ours in the back.

The reason for the escort is simple: the Canucks would still be fighting traffic on their way to the Prudential Center in Newark were they unable to weave their way through the mess of congested cars, vans, trucks, semis and whatnot on the interstate.

The ride lasted 30 minutes and during that time Harrison and I shot the breeze – poor choice of wording there, nothing was shot during our trip.

It’s crazy how little people care there are cop cars on the road though, cop cars with red and blue lights flashing and sirens blaring like an annoying buzzer alarm clock at 7 a.m.

“You know, they should put lights on our cars so people can see us,” Harrison joked over the two-way radio with the sergeant in the lead car.

“It’s funny, people see us and you think they’d just stop for a second and consider letting us through to do our job, but no, it’s kamikaze,” he told me.

Moving a bus through lanes of packed traffic is as difficult as it sounds, but this is a thrilling assignment for Harrison, a nine-year trooper, who works for a tactical unit that does a lot of dignitary escorting when high profile people are in town.

The President, Tiger Woods, the Super Bowl winning New York Giants a few weeks ago, Harrison has worked with them all. Knowing that, I was intrigued by his enthusiasm for driving the Canucks.

Like many, Harrison, a goalie for the police hockey team, has Luongo-itis.

“Some people you’re more happy to escort than others,” laughed Harrison, who is working his first shift since the birth of his second child, a baby boy, last week. “I’m a big fan of his.”

Harrison and I talked for another 15 minutes, he told me tales of dealing with golfers like Phil Mickelson and Boo Wheatley, then there was a pause in the conversation, one that I filled questioning if being a trooper was really as glamorous as he was making it sound.

“Before I got into this position, a lot of what I did had a lot of nastiness to it. I think the stories from the dignitary work are a lot better, they don’t end with any sadness or any of that other stuff. Some guys prefer that work, I’m liking this.”

And I loved this.

Once at the Prudential Center we shook hands and I was on my way. I didn’t get too far into the rink before realizing I forgot to ask, as a trooper, if Harrison was offended by the droll movie Super Troopers.

I think I have his number, I’ll give him a call and ask right meow.

February 24, 2012

Canucks vs. Mother Nature

Two days ago we woke up in Nashville, yesterday it was Detroit and today it’s New Jersey. Trippy.

And it almost wasn’t New Jersey after Mother Nature really threw us a curve ball last night following Vancouver’s 4-3 shootout win in Detroit to break the Red Wings’ NHL record 23-game home winning streak.

With the game going longer than expected we weren’t in the plane until late and by then the snow was really coming down. We sat on the runway for an hour and a half, more time than the actual flight from Detroit to New Jersey itself.

We had to be de-iced and still our takeoff was questionable; it’s never comforting when the pilot is checking the wings with a flashlight.

If you’re not a good flyer, and I’m not the greatest, this is tough to go through. First World Problem agreed, but I can’t help that time travel and myself don’t get along. The only saving grace was that the Canucks had won, otherwise the flight would have been even more tense.

On the plus side of things, I’m finally earning my keep near the front of the plane. Of the four people on the entire Air Canucks with two seats to themselves, I’m one of them. Newell Brown, Rick Bowness and Alain Vigneault are the others, yes I agree that one of these things is not like the other, and it’s me.

I am proving my worth by helping out goalie coach Roland Melanson by plugging his laptop cable into the outlet on my seat because his is broken. Were it not for this hard work and kindness on my part,the Canucks might not have any wins on this road trip– ya right, I can’t even type that without laughing!

We got to the hotel in New Jersey around 3 a.m. and I knew the guys were as fried as I was when I saw Roberto Luongo push the down button on the elevator despite wanting to go up. Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids.

When I got to my room it was 3:07 a.m. and by the time I had my laptop open to post my game story, someone had slid Friday’s edition of USA Today under my door. Sometimes being on the road is glorious, sometimes it’s New Jersey at 3 a.m.

I’m assuming there’s no game day skate this morning, but I’m not going even if there is one. A man needs his beauty rest before we go to war against the Devils tonight – by we I mean the Canucks on the ice and me battling poor Internet signals in the press box.

Just one last note from Detroit: It was an emotional return for David Booth, who played his first game as a pro at Joe Louis Arena. He played well and almost played hero in the end.

He wasn’t the only one feeling emotional either. That was my second trip to The Joe, the first time I was here was in late 2008 after my younger brother was in the freak accident of all hockey freak accidents. He spent time in the hospital in Windsor, Ontario, and got a night pass to come to see the Canucks play the Red Wings; boy does that ever seem like a lifetime ago.

I don’t want to re-live the horrid tale again, Google Kurt Jory and read ‘I felt the warmth of the blood’ (for some reason I can’t link to it), just know that baby bro is back between the pipes for the Brock Badgers and they play the Western Mustangs tonight in Game 2 of the OUA West Semi-Finals, down 1-0 in the series.

Do or die isn’t a sentence I use anymore after my brother’s accident; let’s just say the Badgers have their backs against the wall.

Best of luck brudeur!

February 23, 2012

How to LUUUUUUU

After two consecutive nights of checking out the nightlife in Nashville, I spent a much needed night in when we get to Detroit Wednesday. My evening consisted of a nap, Titanic was on so I watched a fewminutes hours of that, ordered a grilled cheese and soup for supper, then watched some college basketball. I wasn’t so much watching the basketball game (it might not have even been college hoops!) as much as it was on as background noise while I worked on a David Booth story.

Then I got distracted.

During the hoops action the visiting team, I have no idea who they were so we’ll call them the “Pittsburgh Platypus”, outscored the home team, ummmm the “Chattanooga Fighting Chimpanzee,” 19-0 to end the first half. That led to a lot of booing and prompted a discussion from the announcers about booing and how those fans really knew how to boo.

I didn’t know there was an art to booing, but apparently there is. It’s a lot like showing Roberto Luongo love with a LUUUUUUUUU cheer I guess, there’s a time and place for each cheer, depending on the situation. As you’ll see from the graphic below that I spent way too much time creating out of sheer fun, a first period save and a stop in overtime deserve drastically different cheers.

Let’s hope there’s a lot of LUUUU and LUUUUU cheers tonight in Detroit, maybe even a LUUUUUUU if Luongo gets into the zone. Fingers crossed LUUUUUUUU never has to happen again.

We travel to New Jersey post-game, so I’ll touch base from Devils land tomorrow.