Back on Air Canucks

The question I get asked most at parties is “who invited that guy?”

The question I get asked the second most at parties is “what’s it like traveling with the Canucks?”

I’d love to tell you, honestly I would, but I have no idea.

As soon as I step onto Air Canucks I’m in a land of legroom, tranquility and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. This can’t be real life, is what I utter under my breath as I zombie walk my way to the seat that I don’t have to squeeze past anyone to get into, one where a bottle of water, a pillow and menu are waiting.

Have I said too much? I can’t tell from that face you’re making if you’re enjoying reading about what I get to enjoy, or are now gunning for my seat.

Blink if you’d like me to continue…sweet, okay then.

Every flight starts out the same: silent. Right now every member of the coaching staff is hard at work, laptops on top of their laps, watching game film, noting notes, making adjustments, tinkering. Mike Gillis and Laurence Gilman are directly in front of me, talking to each other, likely about something that if they told me they’d have to chop my head off right after.

Behind me the likes of John Garrett, John Shorthouse, Dan Murphy, Joey Kenward and Rory McGarry are all passing the time in their own ways. Behind them, the players, who are as docile as I’ve ever seen them. Most are asleep, Jannik Hansen has headphones in, David Booth is reading; everyone is keeping to themselves.

This is a business trip after all, I can guarantee I’m the only one in a great mood right now. I get this way around legroom, tranquility and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

It’s now 10:55 a.m. PST, we’ve been in the air about 30 minutes and in roughly another four hours and change we’ll touch down in Ottawa. I’ll update with updates as updates become available for updating.

11:11 – Just got handed a hot towel. I remember my first time aboard Air Canucks, I was so confused about what to do with it. How embarrassing. Now I just blow my nose, shine my shoes and clean my computer screen and blend riiiiiight in.

11:55 – Lunch is served. Chicken cordon bleu with potatoes and vegetables, a side of strawberries and blueberries and an orange juice on the rocks. Time to watch some Walking Dead and fill my belly. Hope you’re ready for some weight-gain ol’ buddy.

12:20 p.m. – Completely hypothetical situation: if a zombie was to startle me and I was to kick the back of Gillis’ chair, that would be bad, right?

12:51 – Random thought: zombies could not get to you on a plane in flight, but if a zombie was already on that plane, you’d be trapped.

1:03 – I see snow below. Burrrrrrr. And I forgot to get a new tuque for the trip. Dang it.

1:30 – Snack time! (I’m a growing boy, whatever.) I opted for the Reese Peanut Butter Cups and some licorice (red not black, don’t be sick), while Chris Higgins snagged a bag of Cheetos as we met at the Bin of Sin. He’s all stitched up after taking a skate to the nose Monday night; same goes for Daniel Sedin, his pearly whites are good as new after taking a high-stick against the Kings.

2:00 – The mood is lightening. Guys are walking around, stretching, smiling, laughing, playing cards, passing the time as they see fit. Some, like Zack Kassian, are still sleeping; I haven’t seen him awake yet. Big man, big slumber.

2:07 – John Tortorella just grabbed one of the snack trays and walked up and down the aisle, offering up yummy to his staff and us media. I took some more licorice, but only because it would have been rude not to – fine, I wanted it and I already ate it. I love how this hockey blog is actually a food blog. I’ll have to get Garrett contributing.

2:23 – Turbulence. I’m typing this as the plane goes bumpity, bump, bump, my palms sweat uncontrollably, my heart thumps and mind goes crazy. I’m taking the train to New York, this time travel stuff is nuts.

3:00 – Good news: we landed. Bad news: I grabbed a cookie while leaving the plane. I thought it was chocolate chip. It was raisin. Sigh. Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the reason I have trust issues.

8:05 – We’re now on eastern time which means I’ve lost three hours and that is frustrating because I had some really productive things planned: watch The League, see if my phone number spells anything funny and have a croissant. I can kiss those dreams goodbye.

8:07 – Time to post this already and begin working on today’s Behind the Lens gallery. Sit tight, it’s on the way!


P.S. – There’s a sewing kit in my room, so I’m going to attempt to fix the button on my jacket on my own, like MacGyver would. Although I have the proper tools, so maybe not like MacGyver at all. Hmmm…