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The one about…grinding his gears

There’s a part of me, heck, there’s a part of anyone who knows or is a fan of Chris Tanev, that wants to see him fly off the handle.

He is, without a shout of a doubt, the most mild-mannered, even keeled, easy going, go with the flow, laid back person I’ve ever met.

Once, just once, I’d like him to do something out of character like not say “When” to the waitress at a nice restaurant who is grating fresh cheese on his salad. The room would fill with Parmesan; chaos would ensue.

The odds of that happening, I was told again and again Thursday during our Excellent Adventure visit with the Canucks defenceman, would be the same as getting a rise out of the 22-year-old.

Challenge accepted.

“Come on Chris,” I said from the backseat of his car as we drove down the highway on our way to practice. “What really grinds your gears and gets your blood boiling?”

Tanev bit.

“Stupid things,” he said, “like people wearing running shoes with dress pants and stuff like that. Like white socks with dress pants and dress shoes. Just really stupid things like that irritate me. Other than that I’m pretty easy going.”

I was in tears laughing, as you likely are now.

Running shoes with dress pants? THAT’S WHAT ANGERS YOU THE MOST IN THIS WORLD?

“You asked, I answered,” he laughed.

“I don’t like cigarettes or smoke either, that bothers me. Some of my buddies smoke and that irritates me. I haven’t tried a cigarette in my life, not even a drag. I don’t plan on it.

“I’ll slam a golf club too if I’m frustrated when I’m golfing,” he added. “But I haven’t broken a club in a long time.”

Chris Tanev, you’re a wild man.