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The elevator crunch

I try to make a point of talking with as many Canucks fans on the road as possible. It’s great hearing their tales of fandom, where they traveled from, how they became fans, and so on.

Thursday in Dallas I spoke to an elderly man and his son, both in matching Canucks jerseys, one with H. Sedin 33 on the back, the other D. Sedin 22. We talked for a few minutes with me asking the majority of the questions before the dad hit me with a query.

“What is the worst part about traveling with the Canucks?” he asked.

I am rarely speechless, so this might have been a first. After an awkward minute of silence, I said I’d have to get back to him, I promised him I’d write about it here.

What could be bad about being on the road with the best franchise in sports? Air Canucks is incredible, the accommodations are top-notch, everything is taken care of, and as long as you follow the schedule, there are no issues.

Then it hit me.

The elevator crunch.

Yep, that’s it. The elevator crunch isn’t fun, I wouldn’t classify it as bad by any means, but it isn’t fun, I can tell you that much.

The term elevator crunch, created by yours truly, is when the Canucks arrive at a new hotel, after at least two hours of travel, if not more, the guys grab their room keys and some water, and head for the elevators.

If there’s a rule of the road, it’s that the players come first. They eat first, they get off the bus first, they get on the elevators first. This wouldn’t be a problem, except there are 30-some guys (including team staff) and only three or four people fit into an elevator at once with everyone carrying large luggage.

I’m below the bottom of the totem poll, so I wait. It’s no biggie, although I am always in a hurry to get up to my room and jump on the bed.

It just really isn’t fun when traveling after a game. The photo above was taken in Chicago earlier this trip and as you can see, there’s a lot of guys and not a lot of elevators. It was 2:13 a.m., we had just gotten in from Minnesota, every one was tired and just wanted to hit the sheets.

It only took seven minutes for everyone to get up stairs, where another set of elevators awaited. Apparently we weren’t in the lobby the first time. Silly me.

I was in my room by 2:30 a.m., so overall it took 17 minutes.

Again, I am not complaining, merely explaining. It’s a first world problem, I get it.

The worst elevator crunch I’ve ever encountered came earlier this year in Nashville when again we got in around 2 a.m. We all zombied our way into the hotel, grabbed our keys, some water and headed for the elevators. There were two. And they held three people each. And only one was working.

No jokes.

This was a 35-minute wait. I even considered taking the stairs before I remembered that was exercise.

So there you have it, you know about the elevator crunch, the least fun part of traveling with the Vancouver Canucks if I have to name one.

And yes, I know I have it made when the worst part of my job is waiting for an elevator. Again, not complaining, just explaining.

(I can’t wait to read the comments about this!)

Next time you wait for what seems like hours for an elevator, you’ll think of this and you’ll laugh. I hope.