Zack Kassian is a big boy, he’s easily 6-foot-3 and 230 pounds. He needs protection like I need puns.
Saturday night was my coming out party though, as those watching CBC’s After Hours, with guests Kassian and Kevin Bieksa, caught a glimpse of me in the shadows. Jeff Vinnick even captured a rare photo.
If you look up Jory in the dictionary, it isn’t there. It’s because I’m stealth like that and had it removed. Like a ninja. But as you can see from the above photo, I was waiting in the wings should Scott Oake or Kevin Weekes try any funny business with the Canucks newcomer.
At first I thought Weekes’ suit (we can all agree it’s from his Urkel collected – Steve Urkel, not his cool alter ego Stefan Urquelle), might pose a problem. I ran it through various security check points and all was well. Then it was Oake’s line of questioning about figure skating that nearly had nun-chucks flying; Kassian gave me the sign everything was okay, so I let him be.
Know this: If you mess with one of the Canucks on the ice, Kassian will be there in flash. If you mess with Kassian off the ice and he gives me the secret signal or says the top secret code word and I’m available and I’m in blue (MIB = Man In Blue), I’ll be there. And it’ll be too late. Or something. And yes, I have a memory eraser. I just used it on you, in fact.
Please return to the top of story and read through it again so you know what we’re talking about.