NHL opposites


My beef with author Christopher Jordan continues.

In March of last year I blogged about a book I had bought my then 10-month-old son, titled Hockey ABC. While it was a solid read overall, I had a tiny problem with the letter V, which stood for Visor. I’m all for visors, it’s the picture of Jonathan Toews wearing a visor, on the Canucks page, that made little to no sense. One of the Canucks’ biggest rivals, on Vancouver’s page? Really?!? Maybe a picture of a Canucks player in a visor would have made more sense, but I digress.

Now Jordan is back with another book, this one titled Hockey Opposites.

It is the opposite of good for one blood boiling reason. I’ll get to that.

The book is filled with, as the title suggests, opposites; Fast and Slow, In and Out, Big and Small (it’s a hockey book, stay focused), Over and Under, Cold and Hot, Yes and No and On and Off.

The opposite that is the opposite of cool is Won/Lost, which features a split picture of Zdeno Chara hoisting the Stanley Cup on the left and Victor Oreskovich slouched over in defeat on the right. Below it reads The Boston Bruins won the 2011 Stanley Cup Final. The Vancouver Canucks lost the 2011 Stanley Cup Final.

Well, see for yourself.

I’m aware the Canucks lost, I was there, it was brutal. Congrats to the Bruins, whatever. But is this really necessary in a children’s book? There are no other NHL opposites out there?!? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, here’s what the description of the book is online: Count players, sticks, and Stanley Cups; explore the colours of the rainbow through team logos and sweaters; look for familiar shapes amongst pucks, scoreboards and nets, and work your way through an alphabet that includes everything, from Arenas to Zambonis®! – oh and don’t forget to put down the Canucks, the NHL’s doormat.

Joke’s on Christopher Jordan, this time I was smart enough to flip through the book instead of just buying it.

Four of Jordan’s books remain – Hockey Colours, Hockey 1 2 3, Hockey Animals, Hockey Shapes. I can’t wait to see what else he has in store for the Canucks.