Vancouver Canucks Donut Supreme
Dessert for breakfast, I love my job.
When I arrived at Canucks Headquarters Tuesday morning, I sat down in my chair, as usual, turned on my computer, as usual, and opened my email, as usual. A Santa’s list of emails filled my inbox, as usual, and I ignored them all, as usual.
Then, at 10 a.m. sharp, there was a stampede down the hallway; I didn’t smell smoke, there was no fire.
Had I read my email properly, I would have seen that the Vancouver Canucks and Tim Hortons have paired up to introduce the Official Donut of the Vancouver Canucks, the “Vancouver Canucks Donut Supreme.” Not only that, there were samples for staff. And I’m staff. Cha-ching!
Before devouring the donut, I thought of you, my peeps, and how you are all donutless and likely hungry for donuts. So, being the kind soul that I am, I took the time to eat it slowly so I could write the Official Donut Review of the Official Donut of the Vancouver Canucks.
Grab a fork and join me, won’t you?
Yes, to show you exactly how seriously I take this review, I ate my donut with a fork, a black plastic fork, a dingle hopper, on a white paper plate.
The first thing you notice about the Vancouver Canucks Donut Supreme is its shape. It’s shaped like a hotdog, it’s a rectangle as opposed to the circular circle shape of most donuts – don’t get me started on apple fritters, those moon rocks grind my gears.
The vanilla donut in question has a thin layer of white icing and is covered with a manageable array of blue and green sprinkles, but the true pièce de résistance is the Canucks logo in the centre.
Attractive, tempting, alluring, engaging and glamorous are pompous words I’d use to judge this book by its cover.
The taste, oh the taste, that’s another story all together.
The first cut (I used a fork remember – I’m sophisticated) is a breeze because of the soft pillowy dough, it’s firm but yielding, and once a sum was separated from the whole, a flowing river of Bavarian cream oozed from the donut like ooze oozes.
The Bavarian cream is soothing and balsamic, it’s as if the God’s Fedexed their nectar directly to Tim Hortons for use in this donut and this donut only.
Biting into the quartet of dough, icing, sprinkles and Bavarian cream is so good it feels bad; this saccharine and rich donut could easily rank as the eighth deadly sin.
At first it’s crunchy with sprinkle goodness, then the dough mixes with the icing and cream, and flavourful is an understatement. And this is just the first of five succulent bites.
“Thank you for this full-bodied mixture of happiness disguised as a pastry,” your taste buds will say. “Gimme more, gimme more, gimme more,” they will beg.
And you will. There’s no fighting the attraction, not on today of all days, Valentine’s Day.
Is your mouth watering? It should be. This is one scrumptious dessert.
In the words of the great Homer Simpson: “Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do?”
This is ambrosia at its finest.